i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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