He kissed a someone with a penis
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
