He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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