turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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