Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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