Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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