can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
