Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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