cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
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He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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