I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
