i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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