Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
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I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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