these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
