put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
