he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
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I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!