Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"