You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich