Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM