You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
