Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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