1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize