We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
