i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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