in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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