My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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