and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
