So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
