its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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