I am in a vortex of obligation.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
