Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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