lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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