He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
