I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
