oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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