i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
my liver is dry heaving
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
