when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
