My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
