Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
