you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
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THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
His nipple licking is glorious
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