I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
