turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
