I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
