her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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