my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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