tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
