So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
