Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
