so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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