Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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