why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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