Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
