why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
