the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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