3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize