....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
