I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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