we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
