I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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