She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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