How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
