hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She said her name was "party"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
