Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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