I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
